Making the Essential Enjoyable & Easy
Making Monday
I've heard it said that how we feel on Mondays is one of the clearest indicators of life satisfaction. Here is a quick thought on how to make Monday—and every day—work better...
Conditional Fulfillment
The mindset of Conditional Fulfillment is one of the chief causes of both dissatisfaction and stuckness.
It arises from attaching some outcome we want—either a tangible thing or an internal state—to an external source that is typically outside our direct control.
Here are some variations on how the thought pattern appears…
• If I had (or were) _______ , I would have (or be) _______ .
• If they (or it) were _______ , I would have (or be) _______ .
• If I make (or keep) _______ happy/satisfied, I will get (or be) _______ .
Some common examples…
• If I had more money, I would be happy.
• If I had the right significant other, I would be fulfilled.
• If only my parents encouraged me, I would be more confident.
• If I keep my boss and company happy, I will have security.
• Or this catch-all: If only Reality were [different], I would be [different].
The problem with this mindset is that it denies or defers our agency.
We become dependent upon the choices and will of another—or the movement of Reality itself—for our desired outcome or state.
And when that's the case, the odds go WAY down of our getting what we want, or of even making reasonable progress.
So our movement grinds to a halt and we descend into powerlessness, dissatisfaction, and resentment.
The antidote is first to become aware of the pattern. Just recognize its structure. Once we see this, it is hard to unsee, and we become aware of how dominant it is in our culture and consciousness.
Next, we can decouple the desired outcome from the external conditions.
And we can take direct steps within our zone of complete control to feel better, be happier, be fulfilled, be financially secure, or do work that is intrinsically fulfilling in the moment.
We can stay in our own business, rather than leasing space in our business to other entities or frothing ourselves over other peoples' business.
As one of my wise friends says, “Put your finger on your nose—that's as far as your business goes.” ;-)
This decoupling leads to the possibility of unconditional action.
We choose to act in the interest of our health, happiness, prosperity, fulfillment, and freedom without any conditions attached.
Just because we can. We are made that way. We are the authors of our thoughts, words, and actions.
And when we move from that perspective, our conditions profoundly improve.
Together, let's end the fight to change…
Delmar
