Making the Essential Enjoyable & Easy
Making Monday
I've heard it said that how we feel on Mondays is one of the clearest indicators of life satisfaction. Here is a quick thought on how to make Monday—and every day—work better...
3 Empowering Questions
I worked in HR and Operations positions for a couple big companies for over 20 years before I transitioned into wellness coaching full time.
In those days, I read a lot of books on leadership and management and attended umpteen seminars and workshops and learned a double-digit number of coaching models for changing behavior and performance.
The intent of those models was to influence the behavior of others—individuals and teams—mostly through variations on asking “powerful questions.”
And while those tools have been important to my development as a coach, they tend to miss an essential truth...
Effective leadership and management starts first with self-leadership and self-management. Without self-leadership, the tools for leading others can throw a shadow a mile long and rapidly descend into manipulation and coercion.
So these days I'm much more interested in the questions we can ask ourselves to anchor our agency and to lead and manage our own lives effectively.
I think of these as empowering, rather than powerful, questions. They activate our personal power to be, do, have, and enjoy what is most important to us.
Here are the 3 most empowering questions I have found thus far:
1) How's that working? This one grounds me in reality. It's also agnostic, not coming from a position of morality or condemnation or belief about how things should be. I want to bring something about, so I need to know how my current approach is working. That's all. I'm either moving toward my intended outcome or not. This question cuts through the magical thinking and rationalization that grinds progress to a halt.
2) How healthy is it? This question is the truest compass point I know for sorting options for how to make my approach work better. Looking at the ripple effects of any potential action on physical, emotional, energetic, spiritual, relational, and financial health clarifies in which direction to head. It's also a very quick way to see what I should not be messing with at all.
3) What's the next right thing to do? The most complex creative endeavor can only be accomplished by a series of steps. The same is true of resolving the most convoluted relational entanglement. I don't need to know the whole route, just the next correct turn. I know it is right if it both moves me forward and does so in a way that is aligned with my mission, purpose, identity, and values.
Try these questions on for size. And if the fit isn't right, make your own.
Self-inquiry is a mysterious superpower and trustworthy guide, always available. Through it we can reclaim our birthright of personal power and efficacy.
Together, let's end the fight to change…
Delmar
