Making the Essential Enjoyable & Easy
Making Monday
I've heard it said that how we feel on Mondays is one of the clearest indicators of life satisfaction. Here is a quick thought on how to make Monday—and every day—work better...
Why We Get Stuck
February 6, 2023
We may be intelligent, educated, informed, well-intentioned, and successful in many or most areas of life.
But we get stuck not doing something important we want to be doing.
Or stuck doing something that is not serving our best interests that we want to stop doing.
Regardless, we get stuck.
The problem surfaces at the behavioral level. We are literally doing—or not doing—something we want to change.
So our default is to try to redirect the behavior with the “just do it” model...
I can't seem to get started on the book I want to write, so… I just need to start.
I need to cut back on my refined sugar intake, so… I just need to stop.
This is the most straightforward version of picking a fight with ourselves.
Which is notoriously ineffective and no damned fun.
A more sophisticated approach is to apply control structures—adding rules, expectations, measurements, and accountability systems to attempt to force the non-compliant part into submission.
This may work for a while, but it's still a killjoy…
And finally ineffective because it blows around up in the branches of effects, rather than digging down to root causes.
In my personal life work and my collaborations with clients, I've found a root issue: conflicts between levels of internal organization.
The inner architecture of being human includes levels from the concrete and physical to the abstract and energetic.
A simple map goes like this…
• We are influenced by our environment—the physical world around us.
• We exhibit behavior in that environment. What we do and say finally creates all outcomes in our lives.
• But those behaviors are shaped by our knowledge, skills, and abilities.
• These abilities are enabled or delimited by our beliefs and values.
• Our beliefs are enabled or delimited by our identity (which itself has 3 levels, but more on that another time).
• Our identity is shaped by our vision for ourselves and the world, which coalesces into mission and purpose.
We experience being stuck when these levels are not aligned or are overtly in conflict. Some examples…
• We require deep, slow thinking on a big project, but our workspace is cluttered with distracting administrivia.
• We have the skills to do something but lack belief that we can succeed.
• We value self-care but have an identity that requires sublimating our needs to others.
• We want to finish a project, but that impulse isn't linked to the greater purpose completion would serve.
When we bring awareness and alignment to our internal levels of organization, effortless meaningful behavior appears.
And with ease and energy, we begin doing what we most want for ourselves, others, and the world.
Together, let's end the fight to change…
Delmar
